Getting Into New Things

Time for my additions to The Dating Profiles Meme. Check it out by clicking my title. My input is in italics. I am enjoying this as I recently joined Match and I am finding the profiles less than impressive.

The Dating Profiles Meme: Getting Into New Things

1. Looking for new friends male or female...trying to get into new things.
Means: I have exhausted my options for the opposite sex and I'm ready to destroy my chances with same sex partners.

2. Hi and greetings to all who reads at this time my profile.
Means: This is the only sentence you will be able to even begin to understand.

3. Im looking for a person who is true about themselves. Just be like yourself!
Means: But don't be yourself completely because that won't impress me. Just be "like" yourself.

4. I live by a lake in a nice area. We can go fishing.
Means: It's a good thing I live by a lake because I can't think of anything to do but go fishing.

5. I am an avid reader, love a good movie, and but I refuse to discuss anything about TV for much of it all is a waste of time.
Means: I won't discuss TV but I watch so much of it I have forgotten how to form a proper sentence.

6. So, if spontaneity and passion is in your blood, you have finally found the RIGHT one! are you ready to TRULY enjoy the rest of your LIFE??? Let me know!!!!
Means: I LOVE caps AND punctuation!!!

7. I am looking for someone active and takes care of themselves physically & mentally!
Means: I am looking for someone completely opposite of myself.

8. What can I say that makes me stand out from all the others? Honestly, You have heard my story before.
Means: Because I am like all the other jerks you meet...

9. It can happen. I have been in love before, know what it feels like. I have seen it happen for a lifetime.
Means: I am still with my wife and will never leave her, but I am looking for something on the side.

10. I have been told that I'm much better looking in person than my profile picture.
Means: My mom loves me!