I Know What I Want

I'm late for this meme, but just have to do it anyway. Click on the title of this to see the meme for yourself.

The Dating Profiles Meme: I Know What I Want

1. I have updated my profile. I'm at a point in my life where I know exactly what I want.
Means: The lies I told before don't work anymore.

2. I want someone who will be a healthy role model in my children's lives.
Means: I can't discipline them anymore and need someone else to impose consequences.

3. I really enjoy being in nature, feeling and listening to the crunching of leaves under my feet, listening to the waves hit the shore, staying home and listening to the rain and watching a good movie with someone nice, to playing shuffleboard together as we age.
Means: I'm trying to sound romantic and adventurous, but I'm really just a couch potato.

4. I just haven't met you yet.
Means: I have been doing on-line dating for a lllooonnnggg time...

5. Whatever happened to real dating? Is it silly of me to think that it could possibly still exist?
Means: I'm tired of just dating people in my RPGs.

6. I like sun more than snow.
Means: I'm not moving no matter how much I like you.

7. Happily never married, now it doesn't seem like such a bad idea! Actually, it isn't the "married" part that is attractive at this point in my life, I'd love to consider a soulmate with whom to share the second half of life.
Means: I am afraid of committment.

8. Newly separated, looking for someone to have some adventures with.
Means: I'm looking for sex for a while until I realize how much I love my spouse.

9. Been looking for love in all the wrong places... maybe here will be the right place.
Means: Hanging out at strip joints hasn't even been successful.

10. I belong to a non profit (the "Court") in which my court name is Ingok Ryd-alot, I'll explain about the court later.
Means: Write care of inmate number is 35795115873365, Leavenworth KS.